Just yesterday I was so low, could never pin point the actual reason for the state of mind. Prayed for some peace of mind and went to bed. Guess was just thinking about all the not-so-good stuff that has passed and that has happened recently. But it’s passed and it does not make sense giving it too much thought.
So anyway, got up in the morning – lazy as usual… got dressed to go to work. Checked the weather and saw that it was a wintery mix. Looked out the window and it was snowing! Again! Picked up my cellphone on my way out and saw that there was a message - we get to work from home!!! Yeah! What a way to start the day.
Changed into my home clothes… setup the workstation on the desk in the bedroom; just re-arranged the room yesterday. Now my desk faces the window, so I get a good view when I am working.
It’s beautiful. Though it’s cloudy outside, the snowflakes falling and the snow settled on the roof tops pavement and trees; just makes you feel really calm within. I can just sit here for hours. A cup of coffee in hand and nice soothing music… heaven J
It’s been a lousy day so far… first of I am down with a cold; this makes me low as it is. On top of that it’s been snowing almost all day and it’s been really gloomy outside. And finally, Rahul’s mom passed away, that was the worst news. Not a very uplifting start to the day or the month.
All day have been trying to think how to put positivity to work in such a situation. But have been coming up with nothing. All I keep thinking about is what he must be going through.
We being so far away from home, feel so helpless. It will take him an entire day to reach home. How does one deal with such a situation?
All of us went to see him in the afternoon. He and Sweta were holding up fine. All they can do is get on the first flight out. It’s just really sad, not being there during the final hours.
To be very honest, I was thinking about how I would deal with such a situation, were something like this happen with me, what would I do? God forbid something like this happening… but it’s just something that came to my mind. I don’t know why… but it just did. What would I do, how would I react…
Now I am wondering, does anyone else ever think like this or about this? The thought, it was scary…
The only thing I wanted to do after coming home was calling and talking to mom but couldn’t do it, as it was very late their time.
And it’s weird how we are wired inside. One incident is all it takes to bring out all the insecurities within us that we have been hiding. Something gets you down and all the other things that make us low, the thoughts that we have been able to keep under wraps, come creeping out making us feel worse than ever.
Its 6:00pm on 2nd March… the day is almost come to an end… am sitting at home, with a cup of coffee writing this. Hoping that by getting these thoughts out on paper, I will feel a little better.
Just remembered something… this other thing… was chatting with a friend the other day and he was really sick… he’d been like that for almost a week… told him to go see a doctor, but he was trying to put it off… then he gotworse… told me that he wanted to go back home and was missing his family.
Just another incident that makes you feel helpless. Makes you realize that you are all alone here. Yes, you may have a lot of friends, but at the end of the day, they all leave and you are left alone. It’s just not the same as having your mom there… to make soup or remind you to take your medicines…
Mom – no one can ever replace this one person in our life… no matter how much we argue or fight with her. At the end of the day, we want her near us when we are feeling low.
