Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I lost my Happy Place

It's a beautiful day today and I have been inside with the curtains pulled shut, sitting in a dark room with my laptop in front of me.

Have been thinking of all that has happened and all that is yet to come. None of it makes any sense. I keep wondering about the things that have happened and don't know why they did, just can't make any sense out of it. Would I do them differently if I had a chance - you bet I would!

I don't know what is planned for me, but I do know this that what ever I do today is going to be a part of what I get tomorrow. So I have decided to do things differently from now on. Not let the past ruin what I have today. I saw what it does to me when I end up thinking of all that has gone by and frankly, I don't like what I become when I am there.

Sometimes I just feel like going away. Just getting away from everything that is real. But I guess it's not possible in the real world... you just can't cut yourself out of the picture. Whatever I have to do is going to have to be done by staying right here, in the now.

I guess we have to keep doing a self check every now and then. Have to remind ourselves that things are not all that bad. And when they do get bad, we just have to open the curtains and look outside... only then will we see that the day is clear and its beautiful outside. And everything is going to be just fine.

I lost my happy place a few days back... and then realized that it was right in front of me all the time... all I had to do was open the curtains...